Um, I just saw on the "Elevator Captive Network" (which is apparently a network for slaves and other captives) that the presidential candidates will be appearing on Monday Night Raw. At first I thought Monday Night Raw was one of those annoying CNN shows that make no sense like Hardball or Mad Money or Meet the Press where you actually don't meet any press and old people argue with each other and yell at the screen and insult callers and tell them to invest in their 401(k)s. But apparently Monday Night Raw is the new name for the show featuring fake wrestlers of the former WWF (before the World Wildlife Federation sued and took their name away) and the WWE that our housekeeper Pat let us watch in secret in addition to American Gladiators because that crap was forbidden at Chez Feldman.
Um, let me repeat this - the presidential candidates will be appearing on a wrestling show. Well too bad they already made the movie Armageddon, because this is definitely the fourth horseman of the apocalypse. I actually don't know what to say except that it is 100% not acceptable and I'm not sure how everyone will go on living when possible presidents advertise on a jumbotron in a split screen with Jake the Snake and The Undertaker greased in Crisco.