Tuesday, April 8, 2008

To Snag a Met

So tonight I have to go to this work function - it's the Mets Welcome Home Dinner/Leukemia Foundation Fundraiser, I'm guessing for baseball players with leukemia, which is potentially the least deserving charity I've ever heard of. Apparently all the Met players and their coaches and other Met-related people will be there and will be coming around to the individual tables to sign autographs. As this is a prime opportunity to hook a Met, I've been strategizing my outfit for weeks and applying my eyelash lengthener serum RELIGIOUSLY which has been working. I finally decided on this sexpatrol Laila Azhar dress but unfortunately it's cold today so I had to settle for a B-team dress which is not as sextacular and all hope may be lost, except that my hair looks shamazing today and it makes up for it.

I have also narrowed down my pickup line to "Do you guys play in the Bronx or Brooklyn?" and when one of the Mets goes in for the kill to french me I will ask him if he's trying to go to first base. I am pretty confident that no one has used these amazing lines before and I'll pretty much be the only woman at this dinner so basically there is a 100% guarantee I end up going steady with a Met, in which case I will quit my job and wear only diamonds and gold for the foreseeable future.

In other news, Khalim from Pakistan, the car driver who drove me home from work last night, asked me when I got into the car, "What is a beautiful girl like you doing working?" I said, "I have no idea," which is true. He then asked me out on a date to the park and I asked him what park and he said there is one in New Jersey that is good, which makes sense.

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