Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Necessary and Sufficient

I have recently been asked to provide an updated list of required criteria for boyfriends, so here it is:

1. Above 5'8
2. Has majority of hair left on head
3. Slamming body but not too jacked
4. Hilarious
5. Finds me hilarious
6. Filthy rich
7. Is not a jerk or douchebag
8. Loves dogs
9. Will occasionally entertain discussions about celebrities
10. Compliments me profusely
11. Has square or chiseled jaw

And if you think I'm being too picky, I am listing below my extreme dating qualifications:

1. Bitching face
2. Slamming body
3. Amazing personality
4. Amazing dog
5. Crazy education and job
6. Good listener
7. Likes to go out
8. Will attempt ONCE during duration of relationship to cook
9. Thoughtful gift giver and party planner
10. Expanding shoe collection

Incidentally if you know anyone with the above male criteria please forward their pictures and email addresses to the offices of Feldman Feldman Feldman, Feldman & Feldman for immediate processing.

1 comment:

JC said...

1. y
2. y (but going fast)
3. ? (can benchpress 155lbs 3 sets 10 reps)
4. y
5. y
6. ? Over $1MM/yr (est inheritance $3-$4MM)
7. ? 10-15% of time
8. N
9. y
10. y
11. N

That is pretty darn good. Please update list.