Friday, April 25, 2008

Queen of the Garbagemen

I just got back from the cafeteria and one of the maintenance workers tried to start up conversation with me. On the way to work today, one of the small Dominican men who works at the hardware store on my corner told me to have a nice day. One of two things is going on here, I either a) have an absurdly good looking face and shamazing body or b) am the patron saint of blue collar workers. This shit happens to me and Risa all the time - we walk by a bank or some corporate place where very sexxxy and r$ch men work and the guy picking up the garbage in a blue prisoner jumpsuits outside of the bank yells "you go, shorty." I have never once walked by anything and had any dapper men in suits say "work it out" or "damn!" or "hello?...HELLO?...I love you" and this is because I simply do not attract men in suits despite my best efforts to look amazing at all times.

I've done extensive analysis about why only minimum wage workers are into me and Risa, and I have concluded it is because only minimum wage people are into shapely badonkadonks, of which both me and Risa are in possession. Apparently thin, and ethereal is "in" in corporate America, and short and bootylicious is "in" in the elevators, on the streets and pretty much other places that need to be cleaned or maintained. I will seriously be lodging a complaint very soon because frankly there is nothing I can do to reduce my butt size (but luckily it does not have cellulite on it which is a plus).

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