Thursday, July 31, 2008
Emergency Update: New Species of Mandals Identified
Friends, terrible news. Last night as I was on the bus back from the Counting Crows concert, when new and absolutely repulsive species of mandals revealed themselves to me. As you may remember, I had previously classified mandals into three categories: the Jesus maryjanes, the amphibians, or the medieval troubadour/Indian restaurant owner. It with extreme horror that I now add the above-pictured sandal to the mix. The elusive Flintstone only comes in the "slide on" variety and is typically worn by people with club or cave man feet with yellowed and ridged toenails that are actually fossils, as above. As might be expected, the Flintstone is a distant relative of the two-strap Birkenstock, also worn by people will club feet. Flinstone mandals may often resemble tortoises and were last acceptable during the middle paleolithic area, with a brief exception made for Brendan Fraser in Encino Man.