New Feature - Now That's What I Call Implants

Vivica A. Fox
"Normal"

I think it's safe to say that I spend 90% of my time looking at womens' boobs on the street, trying to determine whether a) I'm jealous of them, b) attracted to them, c) they're bigger than mine or d) they're implants. As you all know, I become enraged when I see jacked people at the gym with implants, because they're not playing fair because Sophie's choice says that either you're jacked and sacrifice your breastaculars, or you're less jacked with more luxxxurious breastaculars. To this end, I will be starting a new feature on the blog entitled "Now That's What I Call Implants" in honor of my two favorite albums of all time, Now That's What I Call Xmas and Now That's What I Call Music 17, in which I will post pictures of celebrities with insane implants who deny having implants, expect everyone to believe their denials of implants because they live in Narnia, and walk around pretending that it's 100% normal to be flat chested one day and then have bodacious breastaculars growing out of their necks the next day and blame it on weight gain or puberty or other outlandish excuses. Well the jig is up, because I'm on it.