Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Day When Nothing Counted


On the way back from "rafting" on our 75 hour bus trip, Aliza and I were about to gnaw each others arms off so I asked her what she would eat if there was a day when nothing counted, calories didn't matter, and she had a portable colostomy bag so she never felt full. She replied that she would wake up and immediately eat an entire cheesecake and wash it down with 3 glasses of chocolate milk. She would then drive to the nearest Denny's and order the Grand Slam Breakfast, go to Starbucks and get a Venti Caramel Frapucchino with whipped cream, dip 10 cannolis into them and eat them. She would then proceed by car to the nearest diner, order 70 grilled cheese sandwiches and dip them in tomato soup, pour french fries over her head and wear onion rings as bracelets. She would then make herself 3 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chase it with a XL Choco Moo'd Smoothie from Jamba Juice. Following this, she would immediately order 8 pizzas and a swimming pool of gnocchi and go swimming in it. To refuel, she would then eat a jar of marshmallow Fluff and a tub of vanilla frosting and would round out the day by going to a pad thai factory and eating all the pad thai ever made. Frankly, this made complete sense to me and I in no way disagree with her assessment.

4 comments:

Jengwei said...

omg that sounds soooooooo good

Above14thSt said...

chicken parms and entements donuts.

Jennifer said...

I agree with the cheesecake, but let's make it a penne ala vodka and fettuccini alfredo pool.

Kash said...

Hysterical.