McCain's Face Falling Off Again

Picture of John McCain leaving dermatologist's office

Several months ago, I reported on John McCain's face falling off and that I was onto his dirty Michael Jackson trick of trying to keep his face on by using bandaids. Well, apparently more of his face has fallen off, if that is even possible. I'm not sure exactly what has to happen in order for Americans to realize that John McCain is already dead, has been dead for many years, and that there is a Weekend at Bernie's situation going on here. If 80% of his face has already been removed, and by his own admission, he visits his dermatologist every 3 months to get more things biopsied and "nicked" off, by his second year in office he will no longer have a face at all. I'm no political analyst, but maybe people should stop calling McCain so experienced and amazing at foreign policy, because I have news for you - the number one most important thing in foreign policy is that you have a face, and I don't care if McCain rules at Risk and Diplomacy because if he looks like Skeletor in 6 months there will be major international problems.