Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Um, I just got this ad on my Gmail. That's right, my computer has determined from reading my emails and gchats that I might be interested in dating other singles with Herpes. Apparently the way the algorithm works is that if you use the word "single" in all your gchats for 2 years in a row this indicates to the computer that you must have Herpes because no one could possibly be single for that long without having an STD. This reminds me of when Sean was trying to set me up with his "really hot and funny" friend and I so asked what this guy's problem was, and Sean said that there was no problem at all, he was tall, attractive, divorced and employed, at which point I asked Sean if my name was Emma Lazarus and whether people should just feel free to set me up with the poor, the tired, the struggling masses yearning to breathe free, divorced people, amputees and people living with AIDS. Unfortunately, several weeks later I made this joke in a bar to somebody else, and in a ridiculous turn of events, unbeknownst to me there actually WAS someone with HIV sitting at our table so I looked like a racist jerk. I later took a survey of people and asked them whether they would date someone with AIDS and everyone admitted they would not.