Monday, July 14, 2008

The Problem with Vacations

This is what people in relationships look like on vacation

The absolute worst part of being single besides looking like a loser at other peoples' weddings is the vacation aspect. I routinely want to go away, but it is pretty much impossible to get someone to go to a place that I want to go to, coordinate vacation times, deal with peoples' budgets and get people to take off time from work. People are either always too poor, want to go to boring and lame places or erroneously believe vacations are for sleeping in instead of waking up at 7am and seeing some goddamn sites. So my vacation options are either going nowhere, or going somewhere alone and possibly getting raped and abducted. Today's harebrained idea is doing this trip, departing in 3 days. Thoughts?

A few months back when I had unfortunately taken myself off of Lexapro cold turkey and was 200% depressed, I booked a $3,000 bike/hike/rafting trip to Ecuador because I decided that I was the type of person who rock climbed to work, owned ten caribeeners and drank from Nalgene bottles. I went to EMS, bought a bunch of wicking crap and ugly "sport" sunglasses and some monstrous wool socks, got 75 vaccinations for obscure life-threatening diseases, and raked in the compliments from people who were impressed with my "adventurous spirit" and my obviously rugged and pioneering personality. Secretly, the entire time I was shitting my pants about being away from Perry for 10 days, bedbugs and being on a trip with 3 other people who might ostracize me. Luckily, work provided me with an amazing, true and convenient excuse to cancel my trip and go back to work, while simultaneously being able to blame my cancellation on work and still receive the braggging rights for theoretically attempting to go on this trip but being foiled at the last minute.

1 comment:

Gabe said...

Scandinavia is awesome and super-friendly. They don't know the meaning of the word "rape" there, either. They call it "schwangenst√łdflutzendetm√¶lk", which, roughly translated, means "a mildly pleasant experience involving a usually-non-forced exchange of bodily fluids and occasionally consummated with neck kisses and a fruit assortment intended to cleanse the palate."

I would highly recommend the trip, it's definitely a lot of fun and perfectly suited for the 7AM-wake-up-and-explore mentality (one which I also take during vacation).