Monday, July 28, 2008

Dear Robespierre


Dear Robespierre,

I'm doing the Slim Fast diet plan, which basically restricts me to something like 600 calories a day up until 6 or 7 pm, and then asks me to choose a "sensible dinner." WHAT THE HELL is a sensible dinner?


Signed,

Trimspababy

Dear Trimspababy,

I assume you are aware that Slim Fast is extremely late 80s/early 90s and are already comfortable with this fact. If this is the case, the way I would approach the problem is to ask yourself, what would the ordinary and reasonable person eat for dinner? Luckily I happen to BE an ordinary and reasonable person so I can tell you EXACTLY what I've eaten for dinner in the past week, which will hopefully give you a clear idea about what is and what is not "sensible."

Monday - Ritter Sport chocolate bar
Tuesday - salad with olive oil dressing
Wednesday - half of yogurt (thrown away due to discovery of apple cinnamon flavor), followed by ice cream and Lactaid pill
Thursday - Nilla wafers
Friday - nothing
Saturday - Arepa and mozzarella sticks
Sunday - pizza, followed by grilled cheese at 1am*

*Due to alcohol

If you have further doubt as to what is sensible, my suggestion would be to eat things that are extremely delicious and delivered by little men on bicycles. Hopefully this answers your question.

Your friend,

Robespierre

1 comment:

rod said...

alcohol on sunday night is a hallmark of the self-employed