The Infallibility of My Taste

General shoe collection, circa 2006 and today's luxxxurious acquisition

Let's get one thing straight. I may have some debateable clothes, my jeans my look spray painted on, my fashion sense (blazers and wifebeaters) may be two years ago because I refuse to wear "tunics" and "leggings" and voluminous shirts that make me look pregnant AND homeless, but there is one thing I ALWAYS get right and that is shoes. My friend Emily who also happens to be a fashion guru admits she is jealous of my shoe collection and this is conclusive proof of what I always suspected - that I have a rare and precious gift for select shamazing shoes and that every pair I buy is an instant masterpiece.

I actually cannot describe how much I love shoes, but on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being I hate shoes and 10 being I literally sit at my comptuer at night drooling over Louboutins and wondering if it's normal that my heart beats faster when I look at shoes or if it means I'm sexually attracted to them, I am a 11.5. I have about 60 pairs, which may not be"alot" but each pair is so disgustingly gorgeous and expen$$$ive because it's not like I roll up to Payless and buy Dolce & Fontana or Mucci, I am buying the REAL SHIT on Ebay. Maybe the reason I like shoes so much is because you can never look fat in them (except for bunions, but I'm aware of that problem and am dealing with it accordingly) and everyone feels compelled to compliment them when you're wearing a hottt pair.

Anyway, so I woke up today and I was overwhelmed by the urge to buy repulsively beautiful shoes to add to my beautiferous collection so I went to Century 21 during lunch and bought a pair. People ask my when I have so many pairs of shoes but nothing to wear ever and it's because I am certain that if I build my shoe collection pair by pair, one day I will grow increasingly happy until the day my happiness is out of control and I achieve nirvana and am able to wean myself off of Lexapro.