Friday, May 2, 2008

The Starbucksification of the Bay Area

On Wednesday while walking to the subway en route to work, there was a crowd of people outside of the Starbucks on Astor Place. There were police blockades and a barrista guy in the green apron trying to control the crowd, while another barrista guy took pictures of people in the crowd smiling and holding up drinks. Later that day, I discovered from the Elevator Captive Network, which, once again, tells me all the news I care about, that Starbucks was introducing two new drink lines, and test driving them in certain Starbucks locations. I think the bottom line here is that there are apparently people corny enough in the world to actually line up outside of Starbucks to try new drinks, like it was a rock concert or they were giving away gold. This is unacceptable. Are people disgusting?

Every time I go to Starbucks to get coffee, I am completely horrified that people order repulsive whipped cream topped liquid chocolate drinks and pretend like it's perfectly ok and not disgusting at all to be ordering dessert at like 9am in the morning and try to trick themselves into thinking it's just coffee. ONCE, in college, I ordered a caramel frapuccino by accident because I had never had one before and within 15 minutes there was a explosion in a toilet somewhere on the Upper West Side. I think it's safe to say that if it has whipped cream, icing, syrup, glaze or chocolate morsels in it, it's not for breakfast and people need to get with this program.

P.S. Some guy I dated in college who was an idiot but sexxxy wrote a thesis entitled "The Starbucksification of the Bay Area" which was 12 pages long and included a picture of him and his brother on news years eve. HAHAHHAHHAHAHHH


Sean said...

In the Chinese language we have these things called "idioms" made up of 4 words, and there is an idiom for everything. My friend Matt took Chinese and they were assigned to make up an idiom. So he made up one loosely translated as "drinking Starbucks at the Forbidden Palace," basically if you go to the Forbidden Palace they have a starbucks stand, and the idiom means going to another country to do American things.

Emily Derksen said...

I freaking think you are hilarious.