Thursday, May 15, 2008

Nostradamus

Jeff van Vonderon sent me a martini glass with fake fruit

Rusty & Sam's signature balloons


So today I accidentally went to CNN.com when I was trying to get to cafeastrology.com to find out my predictions for the next year but apparently I should have just originally gone to CNN.com because John McCain who always has bandaids on his face for some reason has predicted that the war in Iraq will be over in 2013. In other news, in 2047, there will be a war somewhere and in 2075 we will wear silver space oufits. Look, I believe in psychics and 8-balls etc., but McCain's prediction is absolutely 100% ridiculous and based on absolutely nothing. He basically just picked a number out of a hat that was far enough away that people would be like "he could be right!" and when it turns out he's wrong everybody will have forgotten this ridiculous prediction.

If you read the CNN article, you can actually see the exact moment when McCain loses his mind, steps through the wardrobe and enters Narnia. After predicting that all the military people will come home, and new completely not corrupt judges will be elected to things and that Russia will lay down its arms and beg for mercy, he becomes Nostradamus when he predicts that the "world food crisis will end" after his first term in office, followed by peace of earth and the return of the messiah to judge the wicked. My first thought when I read this was that he needs to fire his speechwriters because while they were at it making absurd predictions they left out a bunch of other key things that will happen such as that America will enter into a golden age of guild systems and art patronage ruled by the ruthless Medici family and the pied piper of Hamlin will drive out all the rats but lead all of America's children away during the night.

1 comment:

Sean said...

Lol, you should comment on politics more!!