Thursday, May 22, 2008

Taxation in Narnia

So this morning I get my mail and get one of those ominous "official documentation from the State of New Jersey" letters. I open it and it tells me that I owe New Jersey $64.32 as interest on unpaid installments on taxes in 2007. Alrighty. Too bad the last time I checked, which was 4 years ago, I was living in New York and was a resident here and have absolutely no connection to New Jersey other than I went there on Mother's Day to vist my mom and the dogs Lambo and Hailey. So unless my dad's EZ Pass wasn't working and my dad became bankrupt unbeknownst to me and EZ Pass decided to go after his heirs for unpaid tolls on various bridges and tunnels, I am now being forced to pay New Jersey taxes despite the fact that I don't live there whatsoever.

I'm not sure whose idea this was to just start randomly taxing people, but this is a genius idea and I think every state that I've ever been to should just send me a bill for a random amount. I went to Florida to visit my grandmother in February - looks I should be getting a $174 bill from there for walking on their beach! En route to Florida I flew over Georgia - best return that latest ebay purchase in order to pay them $37 for using their air! And why stop at income taxes, why not just charge me capital gains for peeing in a toilet in Chicago or property tax on Waterworks and St. Charles Place which I owned last time I played Monopoly. How about instead of just paying me any money to work my job, why don't they just direct deposit my entire check into New Jersey's treasury and when that's not enough just send me a letter letting me know that I should report to Newark on Monday to begin a life of indentured servitude working making license plates to pay off taxes in a state I don't live in.


Sean said...

When you begin your life of indentured servitude make sure they give you one of those bone-earrings that those people had to wear back then and then when your servitude is over you have to return the bone earring.

rachsky said...

This has nothing to do with this post but I'm at saks and they started their pre sale and there are a ton of loubitons and other amazing shoes at 30 off. Just as an FYI.

scott said...

This also has nothing to do with this post, but can you tell with your magic "sitemeter" how often I hit the refresh button on this page? Because when you don't post for a couple days, I press that shit like a junkie with a morphine drip.