Monday, May 19, 2008

The Race for Vice President



Obviously I don't follow the "Race for the White House" or whatever people are calling it these days, because it's boring and it's not much of a race so much as a slow walk since it has been going on for 3 years now and people need to calm down. Anyway, so I just learned that John McCain is 72 which would make him the oldest person ever to hold office if he was President. When I heard this, my first question was who is going to be his Vice President and I was told that they haven't figured that stuff out yet. Um, maybe I am living in Narnia, but I would think that if you have a candidate that is 72 who never appears in public without bandaids on his face which are obviously there to make sure that it doesn't fall off because Michael Jackson uses the same trick to keep his face on, America should not be giving a rats ass about who is running for President, we should be caring about the Vice President who will inevitably take over after McCain dies in two days.

By my calculations, McCain will be 76 after the first term, and if he is still not dead then which is unlikely, he will be 80 which means he will have already been deceased for 5 years, which makes sense as to why McCain made that Nostradamus speech about what the world will be like in 8 years because nobody will be able to call him out on it. At my firm and at most other firms and in the police force and other places, they have mandatory retirement ages of like 65 because everybody knows that once you turn 66 you stop being able to feed yourself and must move into an assisted living facility, so I'm not sure who agreed to let a 72 year old run, but people should probably start thinking about picking a Vice President soon because McCain may actually already be dead.

P.S. Speaking of cancer, I just went to the corner store and the Mexican cashier with an angry mole on his face told me "you are beautiful" when I bought a yogurt and I wasn't even wearing any makeup (except for concealer and I drew in my eyebrows). YESSSSSSSS

3 comments:

Liza said...

McCain must be using this election as a ploy to get into Arlington National Cemetery. In a related issue, I am glad that someone else enjoys their "street compliments" just as much as I do. I get hit on most when I am on my way back from yoga... sweaty and gross with work makeup running down my face. glorious!

Jennifer said...

Si, Mammacita - tu estas muy simpatica!

Meghan said...

McCain and my dad have something in common, which is Irish (translucent with spots) skin. This means every time I go home my dad has some effing band aid on his face. He said that when he goes to the dermatologist the guy is waiting there for him with a razor in hand ready to slice and dice him. Recently, there was a huge chunk removed from the middle of my dad's forehead leaving others to conclude that my dad used to be a unicorn.