Saturday, May 10, 2008

Feed the World

An hour ago I was in the shower singing one of my favorite songs, "Do They Know It's Christmas?" which is fine and perfectly acceptable because it's a free country, and it reminded me how last year I scowered Amazon for this song (not on itunes) and eventually my friend Abdallah found it on Now That's What I Call Christmas Vol 1. and bought me the CD. So I was looking up the lyrics in order to accurately sing along and not look like an idiot, and I was completely horrified to discover that this seemingly innocuous Christmas classic is the most outrageously bigoted and politically incorrect song ever made. It basically assumes that everyone in Africa lives outside, is scortched by the sun, has absolutely no water, has never even HEARD of Christmas and needs us to tell them about it. The main sentiment of the song is that while you're unrwapping your Nintentdo and tooling around in your power wheels, remember to raise a glass to the people in Africa and thank God they're starving instead of you. Um, you might want to read the below lyrics and then curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment. I have italicized and bolded to indicate the different levels of horrifyingness:

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime
We let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty
we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime

But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again

P.S. Bono call me immediately

1 comment:

Jenna said...

But those amidst the crashing fires of hell...