Several months ago, somebody asked me on a date to Max Brenner's: Chocolate by the Bald Man, which I declined due to the fact that he suggested Max Brenner's. For those of you that don't know about this place, it's a chain of ridiculous chocolate-themed dessert cafe/stores that serve regular chocolate shit but also disgusting things like chocolate pizza, chocolate sandwiches and other gross items apparently made by someone who's bald. Max Brenner's also has an Epcot Center portion of the store devoted to large brass cauldrons filled with chocolate and rusty looking fountains which were used by cavemen to make dessert, fake olde tyme photoes of Civil War soldiers standing in front of crumbling nougat shops that have signs that say "1 cent," and tarnished old license plates hanging from the walls that say things like ChocoLvr and ChocAddix. When it first opened up in Union Square there was a line out the door so I got in line figuring that they were giving out chocolate covered diamonds or something worthwhile, but when I got in there it was just a bunch of people drooling over cookies and taking pictures of fudge and pointing at the chocolate and exclaiming like maniacs as if Max Brenner has finally captured the elusive unicorn and caged it in his chocolate store for the world to see.
As a side note, I would like to report that today I am wearing my hottt Burberry rainboots and I was just in the elevator and another associate that I don't really know told me that I had the "best footwear of anyone at this firm" which is the greatest honor ever bestowed upon me and I would just like to say in your face to everyone who made fun of me in high school.